🌼 We didn’t decide all at once. We kept moving toward it through careful conversations, appointments, and honest questions about what my body could handle.
There wasn’t one big moment when we officially decided to try for another baby.
It happened slowly.
We talked about my back.
We talked about what another pregnancy could mean for my body and our family.
And little by little…we kept moving toward the possibility of doing this again.
There is hope in that decision.
But there is fear too.
Because wanting another baby and needing to protect my body can both be true at the same time.
What My Husband Has Always Wanted
My husband grew up in a big family.
He has always wanted a big family of his own too.
He told me from the beginning of our relationship that he wanted children.
By the time we met, my tubes were already tied.
I worried that loving me might mean choosing a more complicated path to having children.
Not because I didn’t want more someday.
But because getting there would no longer be simple.
It would mean surgery.
Fertility treatments.
Eventually, IVF.
It would ask a lot from both of us…and he chose to walk through it with me anyway.
Why He Always Says “Safely”
My husband says he wants as many children as I can safely have.
That word matters.
Safely.
He watched what my back injury did to me after our youngest was born.
He saw the nights when I couldn’t sleep and the mornings when getting off the floor felt almost impossible.
He saw me struggle to pick up our baby.
He saw the pain, the breakdowns, and how much of myself I felt like I had lost inside an injury I never expected.
He doesn’t want me to go through that again.
And I don’t either.
That is why trying for another baby has become an ongoing conversation instead of one simple decision.
We have to consider what this could ask of us emotionally and financially.
But we also have to think about what it could ask of me physically.
Where My Back Actually Stands
I completed the decompression therapy plan we had set up.
It did help.
My movement has improved, and my back can handle more than it could before.
I’m thankful for that because there was a time when normal movement felt nearly impossible.
But I still have to be careful.
I haven’t reached a place where I can forget about my back or move without thinking about it.
I would have liked to continue with more decompression treatments, but the cost became too much for us to keep up with right now.
Based on what was explained to me about how little space I have between the vertebrae in that area, I feel like it may take more time and treatment to see a bigger improvement.
For now, I continue doing what I can at home.
I still use my red light therapy before bed, and I notice a real difference in how I sleep when I skip it.
It isn’t a cure.
It is simply one of the things that seems to help me personally while I continue trying to take care of my back.
My spine doctor gave me the green light to try for another pregnancy.
She recommended using a maternity support band to help support the added weight as the pregnancy progresses.
That is reassuring on paper.
It still feels a little scarier in real life.
The Fear I Don’t Say Out Loud Much
I am scared my back will become worse during another pregnancy.
I’m scared of returning to the kind of pain that kept me from sleeping, moving normally, or lifting my own baby.
I’m scared of losing feeling in my leg again.
I’m scared of getting close to foot drop like I did before.
And I’m scared of reaching a point where I need help doing the things I want so badly to do for myself and my children.
My chiropractor told me my back has been a difficult case.
But after reviewing where things stand, my spine doctor still gave me the green light to try for another pregnancy.
So I am trying to hold both truths at once.
I have permission to try.
And I am still afraid of what trying might ask of my body.
My husband is worried too.
He doesn’t always say it, but I know it is there.
He saw the worst parts of my injury.
That is why safely matters so much to both of us.
What Feels Different This Time
This time, I’m not walking into pregnancy completely unaware of what could happen.
I know what IVF can ask of me emotionally.
I know what pregnancy can ask of my body.
And I know I need to prepare differently if we get the chance to do this again.
Not perfectly.
Just more carefully.
I am paying attention sooner.
I am restarting my prenatal — MegaFood Baby & Me 2 — along with a Nordic Naturals Prenatal DHA and a MegaFood Magnesium to help before pregnancy even begins. I’m also back on a MegaFood Women’s Probiotic, since gut health is something I want to have steady going into this.
For my back specifically, I’ve also been taking a Vital Vitamins Multi Collagen — not for the pregnancy prep, but for the healing side of things.
(As always, I’d talk with your own provider before starting anything new — especially with a pregnancy or back history like mine.)
I am thinking about gentle movement, strength, and what kind of help I may need as my body changes.
With my last pregnancy, I didn’t know a postpartum back injury would be waiting for me afterward.
This time, I know my body has a history.
That knowledge is frightening…but it also gives me the chance to prepare and ask for help sooner.
Telling Our Older Kids
We have always been open with our older kids about this part of our lives.
They knew about the medications, appointments, emotions, and waiting during our first IVF experience.
Telling them we might try again wasn’t a big reveal.
It felt more like continuing a conversation they were already part of.
And they are excited.
They are hoping for another sibling and hoping everything goes smoothly for us.
Seeing their excitement makes the possibility feel even more real.
This isn’t only about my husband and me wanting another baby.
It is about our entire family opening our hearts to the possibility of welcoming someone new.
Why We Didn’t Test Our Embryos
We chose not to have preimplantation genetic testing done on our embryos.
Cost was part of that decision.
But ultimately, we looked at the information we had and made the choice that felt right for our family.
I know another family may make a different decision.
There are many personal, medical, and financial reasons someone may choose embryo testing—or choose not to.
This was simply the decision we made based on our circumstances and the information we had in front of us.
It wasn’t the right answer for everyone.
It was our answer.
The Quiet Beginning
Right now, I’m restarting my prenatals and supplements and trying to prepare my body in the small ways I can..
This isn’t the transfer yet.
It isn’t the pregnancy test or the first ultrasound.
It is just the quiet beginning before all of that.
But even this part feels real.
September is getting closer.
And with it comes the possibility of doing all of this again.
Where I Am Right Now
I’m excited.
I feel ready.
And I’m nervous.
Most days, I feel all three at the same time.
I want this.
We want this.
But wanting another baby doesn’t erase what my body went through before.
It doesn’t make the fear disappear.
And it doesn’t guarantee that everything will happen the way we hope.
So I’m taking it one step at a time.
I’m preparing where I can and paying closer attention to what my body is telling me.
Hopefully, this will become one more chance to grow our family safely.
Thank you for letting me share this part of our story.
If you have chosen to try again after IVF, an injury, or another experience that made the decision feel more complicated…I would love to hear where you are right now.
With love,
Rachel (RaiRai 💛)
→ The IVF Journey That Led Me to You
→ IVF Injections — What I Wish I Knew Before Starting Stims
→ When I Couldn’t Lift My Baby: My Postpartum Back Injury
This post shares my personal experience with infertility, IVF, and my ongoing back recovery. Every journey is different, and this story is not meant to replace medical advice or speak for everyone’s experience. The vitamins and supplements mentioned are what I personally use and are not a recommendation for your own pregnancy or health situation — always talk with your OB, midwife, or provider before starting any new supplement, especially during pregnancy or while managing an injury.
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