🌼 For the dads who keep trying — and the ones we still carry.
Father’s Day can feel like a lot of different things depending on where you are in your story.
I just want to say that first.
Because I know this day holds different weight for different people.
And I’m not here to make anyone feel the weight of what they don’t have.
I’m just here to celebrate something that I think deserves to be said out loud.
The fathers who keep trying.
The ones who keep showing up — for their kids, for their partner, for the family they’re building — even when it’s hard.
Even when they’re still learning.
Even when nobody’s keeping score.
My Papa
My biological father left when I was barely brought into this world.
So I grew up not knowing what that was supposed to feel like.
What it felt like to have a father in your corner.
But my papa was there.
He adopted me.
He protected me.
He got me out of a situation when I needed someone to step in and make sure I was safe.
He showed up the best way he knew how.
And I lost him in 2022.
There are still moments where that loss finds me somewhere quiet and unexpected.
Sometimes it’s a song that comes on…
and suddenly I’m somewhere else entirely.
Back in a moment I didn’t know I was storing.
I carry him with me though.
Because he showed me — even after a start that didn’t include that — what it looks like when a father decides you are worth fighting for.
That stayed with me.
My Husband
Then there’s my husband.
He stepped into my life when I had a 10-year-old and a 5-year-old.
He came into the role before ever being a father himself.
And over the years, he has had to learn what it means to show up for kids who were already growing, already feeling, already carrying their own stories.
Then together, we fought so hard to bring our youngest here through IVF.
And he has been patient in a way that doesn’t get talked about enough.
When one of the older kids is clearly carrying something but hasn’t quite said it out loud the way teenagers do… he notices.
He sits down.
He talks to them.
He stays in the conversation even when it isn’t easy.
And right now, when I’m still walking through postpartum depression and a back injury that some mornings brings me to the floor…
there are days I simply cannot show up the way I want to.
He picks up that weight.
Quietly.
Without making me feel like a burden for needing him to.
He just does it.
That’s who he is.
What This Is Really About
This isn’t about perfect fathers.
I don’t know any of those.
This is about the ones who keep trying.
The dad who shows up to the hard conversations.
The one who is still learning how to be what his kids need and doesn’t give up on figuring it out.
The one who holds his partner up when she can’t hold herself.
The one who stays patient even when patience is the hardest thing.
Biological, adoptive, step… it doesn’t matter what the label is.
What matters is the showing up.
The trying.
The growing.
Happy Father’s Day
To my papa, who is no longer here but never really left.
To my husband, who shows up for all three of them every single day.
And to every father out there who is trying —
who is growing —
who is choosing to keep showing up even when it’s hard —
thank you.
You matter more than you know. 🤍
With love,
Rachel (RaiRai 💛)
→ The IVF Journey That Led Me to You
→ The Version of Me I’m Still Becoming
→ Postpartum Isn’t What I Expected After 3 Births
This post is a personal reflection written from my own experience.
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