How I Would Prepare for Birth Again (After 3 Very Different Experiences)

Before my first baby, I thought being “prepared” mostly meant having everything set up perfectly.

The nursery.
The clothes washed.
The bags packed.
The tiny baby items organized.

And honestly, I don’t think that’s wrong.

There’s something emotional about waiting for your baby to arrive that naturally puts you into this nesting phase.

You clean.
You organize.
You prepare.

You just want everything ready for them.

But after experiencing a hospital birth, a C-section, and a natural water birth at a birth center, I realized something important:

The things I thought would matter most before birth were not actually the things that mattered most during labor and postpartum recovery.

What Actually Mattered Most During Labor

When labor truly started, what mattered most to me was feeling safe.

Not perfect.
Not put together.
Not having everything look beautiful.

What Helped Me Feel Safe During Labor

A calm environment.
People I trusted.
Feeling supported.
Feeling understood without needing to constantly explain myself.

Especially with my third birth, I realized how much my environment affected me mentally during labor.

• The dim lights.
• The quiet room.
• Low music.
• Calm voices.
• Not having too many people around me.
• Not being asked constant questions while trying to focus inward through contractions.

That helped me more than almost anything else.

My husband mostly just stayed nearby quietly so I didn’t feel alone.

And honestly, that support mattered more than trying to “fix” anything.

He would encourage me when I needed it:
“You’re doing good.”
“You’re almost there.”
“You got this.”

But he also understood that during contractions, I didn’t want a bunch of talking or pressure to respond constantly.

That made me feel safe.

I remember gripping the birth comb so tightly during contractions that my hands would ache afterward.

→ Birth Comb

In a strange way, it really did help me focus on something else physically during labor.

And toward the end, I even caught myself biting down on it a few times instead of just squeezing it.

Honestly, I didn’t expect myself to do that at all.

(And I probably wouldn’t fully recommend that part because your jaw definitely feels it afterward 😅)

Looking back now, I don’t think I realized how much tension I was carrying in my body during labor until moments like that.

What Surprised Me During Labor

I also remember packing a water birth outfit because I thought I’d want to feel more covered and comfortable.

But once labor became intense, I didn’t even care anymore.

I stayed in my sports bra because that’s what felt easiest in the moment.

And honestly… that surprised me.

Labor has a way of stripping everything down mentally.

You stop worrying about looking perfect.

You just focus on getting through each contraction and safely bringing your baby into the world.

I Would Prepare More for Postpartum Recovery

This is probably the biggest thing I would do differently now.

Before my first birth, I spent so much time preparing for the baby that I barely thought about preparing for myself afterward.

I knew what diapers I wanted.
I knew what outfits I packed.
I knew what the nursery looked like.

But I didn’t fully understand what it would feel like to sit awake at 3 a.m. sore, emotional, exhausted, and responsible for this tiny human.

I wish someone had sat me down and honestly explained:

• how sore I might feel
• how heavy postpartum bleeding could be,
• how emotional recovery after birth can become
• how exhausting cluster feeding feels
• how weak your body can feel afterward
• how important comfort becomes during healing

Simple recovery items like a peri bottle and stool softener made a huge difference for me postpartum.

→ Peri Bottle
→ Stool Softener

Not to scare me.

Just so I would have understood what to expect a little better beforehand.

Because in my experience, knowing what might happen would have helped me feel less anxious and less caught off guard afterward.

The Small Comfort Things Matter More Than You Think

After all three births, I realized the things that helped me most were honestly pretty simple.

Not expensive nursery decor.
Not perfect outfits.
Not having everything look Instagram-worthy.

Just comfort.

Things that helped me physically and mentally feel a little more cared for while recovering.

These are the things I would immediately prepare again:

• a large water bottle with a straw nearby at all times
• loose easy-to-throw-on clothes
• comfortable pajamas
• soft blankets
• snacks within reach
• dim lighting for nighttime feeds
• extra pillows
• postpartum pull-ups
• a peri bottle
• stool softener
• a long phone charger
• a comfortable place to sit and feed the baby

Those things mattered so much more than I expected them to.

Especially after my C-section and postpartum recovery, comfort became worth every penny to me.

Anything that made healing easier physically or mentally felt worth it.

I’d Prepare More Mentally Too

One thing I would focus on more now is mentally preparing for labor instead of fearing it.

Not pretending it won’t hurt.
Not trying to make it sound easy.

But understanding beforehand that contractions require you to go inward mentally.

Especially with my natural birth, I realized how important it was for me to focus internally instead of externally.

The birth comb helped me.
The water helped me.
The quiet helped me.

But mostly, I had to learn how to work with my body instead of fighting every contraction.

That changed a lot for me mentally.

What I’d Tell My First-Time Self

If I could sit beside myself before my first birth, I honestly think I’d say this:

You do not need to have everything perfectly figured out.

Your baby does not need perfection.

And you do not need to “perform” birth or postpartum perfectly either.

Prepare for comfort.
Prepare for healing.
Prepare to need support.
Prepare to give yourself grace afterward.

And understand that postpartum recovery is emotional too, not just physical.

After three very different births, I’ve realized that the moments that mattered most were never the perfectly prepared ones.

It was:

• feeling safe
• feeling supported
• holding my baby afterward
• quiet nighttime moments
• healing slowly
• learning to trust myself

Looking back now, I don’t remember whether everything was perfectly organized.

I remember how it felt to become a mother in three completely different ways.

✨ Thank you for letting me share this part of my experience.

If you’ve already given birth before, what’s one thing you’d do differently next time?

You might also enjoy:

• The First 24 Hours After Birth (What It Actually Felt Like)
• Postpartum Must-Haves (After 3 Very Different Births)
• What Helped Me Through Postpartum

With love,
Rachel (RaiRai 💛)