š¼ The Birth That Showed Me My Strength
By the time I was pregnant with my third baby, I was 34 years old and in a very different season of life than when I had my first two.
My kids were 14 and 9 years older than this baby, and so much about this pregnancy felt different.
This time, I tried to care for my body more.
I focused on eating better, going on walks, using an exercise ball, and doing stretches to prepare for birth.
(I used a simple exercise ball and it honestly helped me a ton. I was working remotely as well, and using this versus a chair was a game-changer)
I knew more than I did before.
But I also knew something elseā¦
No matter how prepared you feel, birth has a way of meeting you in unexpected ways and teaching you things you didnāt see coming.
The Waiting That Wore Me Down
One thing I didnāt expect was how long my body would tease me before labor truly began.
For more than a month, I had false labor.
Contractions would startāsometimes strong enough that I thought this might be it.
They would last for an hour or twoā¦ and then suddenly stop.
It was exhausting.
Each time, I felt drained physically.
And emotionally, it was frustrating.
My baby was already late, and I was so ready to finally hold him.
My due date was April 2nd.
He had other plans.
When Labor Finally Began
It was Easter morning, April 20th, during a severe thunderstorm.
I had just closed my eyes to go to sleep when I woke up about thirty minutes later with a small cramp and a little wetness.
At first, I thought maybe I had just leaked a little urine.
But when I sat down, I felt a pop.
My water had broken.
My hands immediately started shaking.
Part of me felt excitementāthis is really happening.
Iām about to see my baby.
But right behind that came another thought:
The contractions are comingā¦ can I really do this?
I called my midwife, who calmly reassured me and told me not to stress about timing contractions just yet.
But my body had already made up its mind.
Less than an hour later, I knewā
I needed to be at the birth center.
A Stormy Drive, But Everything Went Quiet
We were driving through a tornado warning, with heavy rain pouring down.
But honestlyā¦
I barely noticed the storm.
All my focus turned inward.
Each contraction came like a wave through my body, and all I could do was breathe and prepare for the next one.
The Water Birth
Once I got into the birth tub, everything changed.
The warm water wrapped around me and instantly felt like a safe place.
It helped my body relax and made the contractions feel more manageable.
I had brought a small comb to squeeze during contractions
Iām not sure if it took the pain awayābut it gave me something to focus on.
At one point, I was biting it instead of squeezing it.
My husband stayed right beside me the entire time.
And I remember telling himā¦
just being there was enough.
š What Helped Me the Most
I realized I didnāt need a lot.
What helped was:
- A quiet space
- Minimal talking
- Someone close by
- The ability to go inward
And one thing my midwife had me do that really stayed with meā¦
She told me I could reach down and feel for my babyās head as I got closer.
And when I didā¦
something shifted.
It was like my body finally understood how close I really was.
It gave me a boost of motivationālike okayā¦ Iāve got this.
My mindset changed in that moment.
A Moment None of Us Expected
At exactly 5:00 a.m., I pushed him out into the water.
And then something happened that none of us expected.
As he came up, we heard itā
a loud cry that sounded just like:
āMAMA!ā
We all paused.
It was one of those moments you couldnāt plan if you tried.
And then he was on my chest.
Perfect.
A Different Ending to Birth
Delivering the placenta this time felt completely different.
With my first, it was painful and shocking.
This timeā¦
it simply slid out naturally.
No pain. No panic.
Coming Home
By 8:00 that morning, we were leaving.
We grabbed donuts on the way home.
And it might sound simpleā¦
but it felt comforting.
Like stepping back into normal life with this tiny new person.
When the Hard Part Began
But the journey didnāt end there.
In the weeks after birth, I started having severe back pain.
Eventually, I couldnāt even lift my baby out of his bassinet.
I remember crying from both pain and guilt.
Then one day, I felt a sharp snap of pain shoot down my leg.
After going to the ER, I was diagnosed with a herniated disc and slight vertebral slippage pressing on my nerves.
Even now, almost a year laterā¦
there are mornings where the pain brings me to tears on the floor while my baby plays nearby.
Iāve had to adjust everything to keep him safe during those moments.
And I know Iām not the only mom going through something like this.
If youāve experienced anything similar, I would truly love to hear your story. Thereās something about sharing that makes it feel less heavy.
Right now, Iām still trying to avoid surgery and working through other options first.
Iāve been doing decompression therapy with a chiropractor who is taking the time to really understand my body and using updated X-rays to guide treatment.
Iāve also been using red light therapy panel from Hooga and taking turmeric supplements to help with inflammation and healing.
Iām still in the middle of this journey.
Still learning.
Still trying.
Still hoping for healing.
š¤ Breastfeeding & Postpartum
I tried breastfeeding again and made it about six months.
Iām proud of that.
Postpartum has been emotional.
Some days are okay.
Some days are heavy.
Therapy and support have helped more than I expected.
The Lesson That Stayed With Me
This birth showed me my strength.
Not the kind that looks perfect.
But the kind that keeps going when you feel weak.
The kind that shows up even when youāre scared.
Because even when I feel like I canātā¦
I still can.
āØ Thank you for letting me share this part of my story. If youāve gone through something similar or are walking through a season like this, I would truly love to hear your experience. And if youāre still waiting for your babyāhowever your story unfolds, it will be yoursā¦ and that is more than enough.
With love,
Rachel (RaiRai š)
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